It's just a fact of life: pregnancy can give even the most tactful people a full on case of diarrhea of the mouth. You can see it coming: the eyes go straight to the stomach, the mouth opens, and boom: diarrhea.
In no particular order, here are 10 of the most offensive things I've been told during pregnancy. Yes, I have a sense of humor about it, so that's why I'm posting.
10. "Wow, you've really blown up since the last time I saw you." - Court reporter from my deposition earlier in the week Ummm, thanks?
9. "You're huge! No hiding that you're pregnant now!" - Coworker this week. Because I was actively hiding it.
8. "Are you sure you're going to make it to 40 weeks? It doesn't look like it." - Various coworkers, also this week. Since you're so good at predicting the future, can you also tell me the winning lottery numbers?
7. "Are you having twins?" - Coworker. I was 18 weeks pregnant, aka still pretty small.
6. "Don't go into labor on me." - Classmate from an exercise class last week. I'll do my best.
5. "How much weight have you gained?" - Too many people to count. The answer is 1 million pounds. Is that too much?
4. "Were you guys trying to get pregnant?" - Fellow labor classmate. OK, maybe I'm extremely touchy on the subject, but is it really anyone's business whether or not a pregnancy was planned?
3. "Why are you still running/exercising? You're not going to lose any weight." -Palm, meet face. Again, too many people to count.
2. "Is your doctor OK with you doing ___________?" Nope, she's not. That's why I'm doing it.
And my favorite:
1. "How much have you had to drink since you got pregnant?" - Oh, I don't know. At least 10 gallons of pinot noir. And some scotch. And a little bourbon for good measure. And a margarita with a tequila chaser. Do you think that's going to be enough?