Nov 2, 2012

The Top 10 Worst Comments I've Heard During Pregnancy

It's just a fact of life: pregnancy can give even the most tactful people a full on case of diarrhea of the mouth.  You can see it coming: the eyes go straight to the stomach, the mouth opens, and boom: diarrhea.

In no particular order, here are 10 of the most offensive things I've been told during pregnancy.  Yes, I have a sense of humor about it, so that's why I'm posting.

10.   "Wow, you've really blown up since the last time I saw you." - Court reporter from my deposition earlier in the week  Ummm, thanks?

9.     "You're huge! No hiding that you're pregnant now!" - Coworker this week.  Because I was actively hiding it.

8.     "Are you sure you're going to make it to 40 weeks?  It doesn't look like it." - Various coworkers, also this week.  Since you're so good at predicting the future, can you also tell me the winning lottery numbers?

7.     "Are you having twins?"  - Coworker.  I was 18 weeks pregnant, aka still pretty small.

6.     "Don't go into labor on me." - Classmate from an exercise class last week.  I'll do my best.

5.     "How much weight have you gained?" - Too many people to count.  The answer is 1 million pounds.  Is that too much?

4.     "Were you guys trying to get pregnant?" - Fellow labor classmate.  OK, maybe I'm extremely touchy on the subject, but is it really anyone's business whether or not a pregnancy was planned?

3.    "Why are you still running/exercising? You're not going to lose any weight." -Palm, meet face.  Again, too many people to count.

2.    "Is your doctor OK with you doing ___________?"  Nope, she's not.  That's why I'm doing it.

And my favorite:

1.   "How much have you had to drink since you got pregnant?" - Oh, I don't know.  At least 10 gallons of pinot noir.  And some scotch.  And a little bourbon for good measure.  And a margarita with a tequila chaser.  Do you think that's going to be enough?