Tomorrow I hit the big 3-0: 30 weeks of pregnancy. I've got 10 weeks left, give (hopefully not!) or take. And now I feel and look really, officially, no question about it pregnant.
Which leads me to this list:
The Things I Won't Miss About Pregnancy
Constant Hunger: I know what you're thinking: "But you're pregnant; you can eat whatever you want and it's OK! That would be awesome!"
Actually, it sucks. My stomach has been reduced to the size of a Cheeto cheese curl so instead of eating three squares a day like a normal human being, I stuff 10 minuscule meals down my throat 10 to make the hunger go away. As soon as I'm done eating, I'm hungry again. Oh, and I also wake up in the middle of the night with hunger pains, which necessitates another meal. Which makes baby go crazy with kicks because homegirl likes her food. Which means I don't fall asleep for another two hours. Which makes me a zombie at work. And incapable of blogging more than 2 times per week. Because, you know, I've always made blogging a huge priority.
I Can't Breathe
This is a problem when your job is to talk all day long.
The Look
Don't think I don't see the curiosity erupting out of your eyeballs. The leering stare a perfect stranger gives me, forcing me to make hostile eye contact, is invariably followed by the "how far along are you?" question and if I'm truly unlucky, also served up with a piece of unsolicited advice or a labor horror story.
Listen: if you've met me in real life, then you know that I am very shy. Unfortunately, I'm now a beacon for uninvited attention and it's just not my cup of tea. I am happy to share with people I don't know - it's the openly creepy peeps at Publix that wig me out.
Size Comparisons
There's another woman in my office who is due only one week after me. The entire office openly compares our weight gain, eating habits, and bump size. Quite frankly, it's pretty cruel. Just because we have close due dates doesn't mean we are the same person and I'd rather not hear how "Mary's face is huge now" or my "stomach has exploded this week."
Lack of Sleep
File this under "Get Used to It."
The Things I Will Miss
Maternity Clothes
It's like wearing pajamas all day long, except they're pretty cute and I can be appropriate at work and stuff. Although, I mean the "pretty cute" part - they are not adorable and they are definitely expensive. But I haven't had to bother with a zipper in weeks, so that's a definite plus.
Unlimited Ice Cream and Cupcakes
I've been lucky with weight gain (well, until I got on the scale this week. Crap.), so it's been pretty great to indulge every so often. And by every so often, I mean every night of the week.
Feeling Her Kicks
I feel like I have a secret connection to her that no one else in the world has. You can see and feel her kicking from the outside, but I know what it feels like to have her in my tummy. I can tell she loves it when I drink milk and that she doesn't love it when I roll on my right side because I'm crushing the walls of her economy apartment. It's so weird, but every day I feel like I get to know her a little bit better.
The Anticipation
Not to sound to Cheeto cheesy, but this is a very special time in J's and my life. This child is something we prayed for and we could not be happier that she will be here soon. I don't know how to say this without shooting a rainbow out of my rear end, but we are plain ole happy. It's fun to think about what she'll look like and although picking her bedding out nearly gave me an aneurysm, it's still a lot more fun than say, getting chewed out by a plaintiff's attorney. I feel like J and I have been through so much together and I quite literally praise God that our struggles made us closer. So even though I bitch and moan about pregnancy at times, the good easily outweighs the bad. All she has to do is kick and I'm reminded of what a gift we have been given.
