If I were the Pinterest version of me, I'd weigh ten pounds less, make simple (but healthy! and original!) recipes out of my stainless steel crock pot after my simple (but effective! and original!) work out that I did at 5:00 a.m. My home would be perfectly decorated in thrift store finds and DIY projects that make me crafty, not crunchy. Thank God Pinterest didn't exist when I was getting married. Back in 2007, the only Martha Stewart I had to deal with was...Martha Stewart. Now everyone with a laptop and a glue gun is setting out to make me feel inadequate in all sorts of ways I never knew possible. Prior to Pinterest, I had no idea that there was a such thing as "good shades of grey" and "bad shades of grey" when it comes to home decor (and no, I'm not talking about the actual pornography that is 50 Shades of Grey. "Mommy porn" or not, it's still porn.).
I can't stop pinning. I. Have. Problems. In addition to the stuff that I pin that I'm not going to make out of sheer laziness, there's the stuff I'm not going to make out of sheer lameness. A few examples:
What It Is: A sandwich holder made out of a milk jug
Why I'm Never Gonna Make It: Unlike the pinned I grabbed this from, I don't think this is a particularly useful or "pretty" way to use my trash. It seems like it would be a real biatch to fold the plastic. And how many times could you actually use it?
Why I'm Never Gonna Make It: Looks like Granny porn ---> Anastasia Steele in 60 years, anyone?
Why I'm Never Gonna Make It: Because it's fugly. Fugly. Yes, that's a real word.
Why I'm Never Gonna Do That: Do I really need to answer that? My first thought was that this picture was taken in the booking area of a police station.
Why I'm Not Gonna Make It: Call me old fashioned, call me a prude, but I don't really care for hanging pictures in my house with phallic double-entendres.
What's some of the funny (or useful) stuff you've seen lately on Pinterest? Share (and follow me, so I can follow you back - promise your pin won't make my list!).