Postpartum Progress: 5 Months

Rollin' rollin' rollin'....

Hello, my name is Squiggles (yes, we really call her that) and I'm addicted to rolling.  The innocent baby kind of rolling, of course - not the habit of '90's ravers.  I'm trying really hard to crawl, but so far, it's just a lot of aimlessly wriggling my legs.  Give me another month or two.

The biggest development over the last few weeks is the rolling.  It's constant.  As you may recall, C's aunties decided to unswaddle her when they came for a visit and kept her for the night.  Well, as it turns out, they unswaddled her at just the right time.  C started rolling not even a week later.Along with the rolling, C also started sleeping on her side and her tummy.  Consequently, I am really glad she now wears a sleep sack.

C is thriving in daycare.  Her teachers are wonderful and they have a particular knack for listening to my concerns while gently providing guidance and advice.  They are with her eight or nine hours a day; as sad as it makes me, they probably know my child almost as well as I do.  In return, I listen up when they provide feedback about her habits.  I look at it as having two extra sets of eyes on her wellbeing.

Also, C may or may not have a daycare boyfriend.  Daddy isn't too thrilled about that development.

C went for her follow up with the speech therapist on Monday and her prognosis is excellent.  Despite this, we are nowhere near introducing solids.  Knock on wood, she's satisfied with her bottles and continues to sleep through the night.  Solids seem unnecessary right now.  We'll address this with her pediatrician at her six month visit, as well as recommendations for first foods.

Speaking of six months, we are still waiting until the six month point to put her in the jogger.  I want her pediatrician to OK it first.  That being said, I can't wait to take C for a spin around the block.

As for me,

Well, I'm not really losing weight.  I guess I would like to lose another five pounds to put me at my goal weight, but part of me thinks it's kind of stupid and lame to obsess about five measly vanity pounds.  Plus I hate the words "goal weight" - like, how do you even set a "goal weight?"  Mine is so arbitrary.  And why am I SAP'ing (that's strategic arm pose) all my post-baby pictures?  I don't do that in real life. Ick.

After all, I am at a healthy BMI, even if I am not super skinny and I'm still toning up the pooch.  At the end of the day, I just don't have the heart to obsess about my food intake.  Life is really short and I like cupcakes and wine.   Plus, I hate hearing people whine about their constant quest for a bikini body.  A'int nobody care what you look like in a bikini except you.  Unless you're Giselle, of course.

I will admit that I've been extremely overtired and stressed out lately.  Work is crazy and a few things in my personal life have been quite difficult. I had been working out five times a week fairly consistently until last week, when I realized that I needed a break.  I took a few days off and things are a little better, but not 100%.  I think I need more sleep.  Then again, who doesn't?

That Time I Got Asked to Relactate

C and I finally had the appointment with the speech therapist on Monday.  As you may recall, C was referred for speech therapy due to the amount of time it was taking for her to drink a bottle.

The appointment was enlightening, to say the least.

First, I was asked a series of questions about my labor.

• Was I induced? Yep.
• How long did I have Pitocin? 11 hours
• Did I need oxygen? Yes, during the pushing phase
• Was C ever in distress?  I was never specifically told that C was in distress, but when I told her therapist that I had an internal monitor,  she gave me this face:

Great.

After the Q & A session, C got a physical evaluation of her mouth, cheeks and jaw.  Her motor strength on the right is 4/5 - perfectly acceptable.  On the left? 1/5.  Fail.  The therapist wasted no time telling me that nursing her would have been impossible, which is great and all, but that's something I'd really like to move past.  We went through a series of exercises that I have do to with her six times per day for the next three weeks, plus a new way to hold her during feedings that mimics breastfeeding.

Then, she asked me if I wanted to relactate.  As in - restart nursing. Then, she asked me if I wanted to go ahead and "put her to my breast?"  Like, right then and there.

'Scuse me?

Last time I checked, I am not an XL pacifier.  Plus, I couldn't even produce an amuse-bouche of milk right now.

I was kind of amazed. I haven't nursed in three months.  Was that a serious, legitimate option?

"Oh sure, it comes back in no time.  We'll just get you some lactation tea."

Yeah?  Well this is what my boobs think.

Ever heard that song, "The Gambler?"

"You gotta know when to hold them, know when to fold them."

I put myself through enough trying to nurse the first time around.  I'm not going back for round two.  I actually researched relactation awhile ago and it's not easy.  You have to nurse around the clock, which would probably be a teeny bit of a hassle with that little thing I have called a full time job.  Never mind the fact that I sold my pump and gave away my nursing supplies. 

No.  Just no.  Actually, make that HELL no.

The therapist assured me that with three weeks of physical therapy, C should be back up to speed.  Nursing her might help it go faster, but really?  It's only three weeks as it is.

What I found totally appalling was the fact that I saw FIVE lactation consultants (four in the hospital, one private) and three pediatricians and not one of them caught on to an obvious developmental delay until it was too late for me to successfully nurse.   I could have gotten this straightened out months ago, not mere weeks before we are supposed to start solids.  Apparently, the type of labor I had should have been a clue that her motor skills might suffer some delay.

Ugh.  Another lesson learned.

My First Trail Race: Margaritas and Manure 12k

After a terrible experience at my last race, I am so happy to report that I found a little redemption in the form of dirt, cow pastures, single treks, and sand.  Yesterday was my first trail running experience, and I cannot say enough good things about the entire experience.

A couple of weeks ago, one of my running buddies emailed me about a brand new trail race taking place on May 5.  In keeping with the day's theme, the name of the race was Margaritas and Manure.  There were options for a 50k, a half marathon, and a 12k.  We chose the 12k.  We chose wisely.

The race was held at Palm Bluff Conservation park in Osteen, about a 40 minute drive from Orlando.  Upon arrival, we noticed a few tents from folks that camped out the night before.  Being the city dwellers that we are, we found this significant enough to be photo worthy.  This was our attempt at subtlety.  #Fail.

We picked up our packets and got our chips in no time.  The 50k had already started and the half started approximately 1/2 hour before the 12k.  Pretty soon, it was time to get in line.  Here's the start:

Not your average road race, right?

The race director got on a bullhorn and gave us a few tips about the course: we would be running one loop of the red course.  The red course is marked with red "blazes", spray-painted diamonds found on tree trunks, as well as red flags like those you'd see an estimator use. He advised us that if we had been running for five or ten minutes and did not see another runner, we might want to retrace our steps because it meant we were probably lost.  Gulp. Getting lost in the woods without cell phone service is not my idea of a good time.

He also let us know that there were three aid stations stacked with all kinds of goodies like chips, M & M's, PB &; J's, oranges, bananas, and Gatorade.  When we registered, runners had been advised to bring our own bottles to keep trash down to a minimum.  I figured that the aid stations were meant for the longer course runners, and hadn't planned on eating, so I skipped them.  I had also brought a Nathan Quickdraw Water Bottle with me so there wasn't really a need for me to stop.

P.S. - If you run with water all the time you are my hero.  I find holding a water bottle to be incredibly annoying.

The race was chipped timed but there was no timing mat at the start, so I started my watch as soon as the bullhorn went off.  We hit sand almost immediately and it wasn't long before I figured out that my pace was going to suffer pretty badly.  The first mile was just about trying to find my footing.  The scenery, however, was gorgeous.

Sometime around 1.5 miles in, we literally ran through a cow pasture.  We were even told to close the gate to make sure the cows did not get out.  However, I didn't spot any cows.  Hmm.  The dirt for much of the second mile was more compact and the road widened into a double trek.  I ran this mile with a new friend and we laughed about how hard it was to keep a 9:30 pace.  I was literally panting, and we were only two miles in. There were times where I could pick it up and run under a 9:00 mile, but there were many more where I'd see my pace creep up into the 10:00 - 10:15 range.  The pace changes were definitely something that surprised me.

It was around this time that my stomach was giving me problems. It felt like there was a vice squeezing my insides.  Had this been a road race, I might have looked for a porta-potty.  Instead,  I took a walk break.

Miles three, four, and five were almost exclusively on winding single treks that we so narrow I could neither stop nor pass anyone.  I willed myself not to walk through these three miles.  The underbrush was right next to the trail and I could hear animals rustling around.  Like Jackie, snakes are one of my biggest fears, so I tried not to think about the rather high probability that one of the rustles I heard was likely serpentine in origin.  I later learned there was a coral snake spotted on the trail.  *Shudders*

This abandoned house was at about mile 5.  Pretty, right?

I literally followed the same guy for nearly the last three miles of the course because I had no way of passing him.  Finally, with about a mile left, the course opened up and I made my move.  There was no one in front of me (they all had a big lead on me) and I almost turned the wrong way, but finally, the finish line appeared.  I also had a woman chasing me pretty hard for the last half mile.  It was super fun to race her and we acknowledged pushing each other at the end.  The people who ran this race were amazingly friendly.  I would run a trail race again just for that atmosphere.   

About the guy I was following: after the race, he congratulated me and then remarked, "Well, I haven't really run since December."  So I opened up my big mouth and countered with, "I just had a baby in December."  #Prideful  #OneUpper

Our medal was a margarita class, margarita included.  So what if it was 10:00 a.m.?  That baby was good!

There was also a full spread of food - the best I've ever seen in a race.  I ate two bean burritos, chips, and got a real Coke (the kind with no HFCS) to take home.

I was completely shocked at how exhausted I was. Trail running is no joke.  My friends and I agreed that if we were to do a half marathon on a trail, we'd need a lot more training.  I ran this race in 1:12:48, a 9:40 pace, and the half marathon I ran a couple of weeks ago at about an 8:45 pace (with hills and wind) was way easier.  Wow. That's pretty humbling.

A few of the things I think helped me:

• Bringing my own water.  That's a no-brainer, really.  I needed a lot more water on this run than I do on a road.  I drank all 20 ounces while running and then had two more bottles after the race.  The aid stations are spaced reasonably far apart, but I was quite thirsty because it was very sunny and I was working really, really hard.
• My shoes.  I ran in my Pure Flows and I liked how I could feel the ground a bit more than I would have in my more cushioned Defyances.
• My watch.  Obviously, there are no mile markers in the middle of the woods.  The Garmin helped me know where I was.  I did, however, have to ignore my pace.  It was all over the place and entirely dependent on the terrain.
• No music.  You need to pay attention in the woods, not get lost or trip. Or eaten by a bear.

Ever run a trail race?  How do you think it's different from a road race?  What tips would you offer a newbie like me?

Postpartum Progress: Four Months

A little overdue (just like C), here's our four month progress report!

Major milestones:

• Rolling from side-to-side.  She's rolled over completely a couple of times at daycare, but I haven't seen it happen yet.  Sigh.  Working mother problems.
• Giggling - C is ticklish under her arms and on her belly and now we can make her laugh.  Coolest thing ever.
• I think she's starting to recognize her name.  She definitely knows who Mommy and Daddy are.  She also turns toward the person who is talking.
• She now sleeps without her swaddle, thanks to my sister-in-law who decided to pull the plug cold turkey.  (we didn't mind)
• C had her first daycare cold.  Now we are in a seemingly never ending cycle of runny noses.  We catch everything she brings home.  It's fun!

Other updates:

Who, me?

• At her four month check up, C was 13 pounds, seven ounces and 23 3/4 inches long.  She's in the 50th percentile for head circumference and weight and the 75th percentile for height.
• We finally moved up to the level two nipples.  Bottles are now finished in about ten to fifteen minutes.  This is a major improvement over the forty minutes it was taking.  She usually takes five ounces per bottle and eats five to six times per day.
• C is finally grown out of most of her three month clothes (although some do still fit), and is now in 3-6 month clothing.  6 month clothing from Carter's tends to be too big - for now.
• She's in a size two diaper.
• Total drool machine.  We have to keep bibs on her at all times!

I'm a Florida baby for sure - like my flamingo?

I was very fearful of the four month sleep regression, but (fingers and toes crossed, knock on wood), we have not experienced it.  My pediatrician told me that only 10% of babies go through it, but based on my friends, the numbers seem to be a lot higher!  I know we are in for it in another two months, though.  I hear six months is rough!

As you can see, C's neck control is getting much better.  It won't be long until she's ready for the jogging stroller (pending pediatrician approval, of course).  Man, it'll be nice to have some quality running time with J and her.

As for me:

My weight seems to have settled.  I would like to lose a little more around the abdomen area, but then agin, what woman doesn't?  Especially one who had a baby fairly recently?  I'm participating in Best Body Bootcamp and am proud to announce that after two weeks of hating planks, my abdominal separation seems to have healed.  And I can do real push ups - like, five of them!  Woo hoo!

The tummy is a sloooow progress.  

Running is going great.  Aside from the disastrously short half marathon I ran,  I have no complaints.

Being a working mom?*  Now that is a huge adjustment.  Let me be candid: I am exhausted.  J is exhausted.  It's hard work.  J and I sit down every Sunday and make our plan for the week.  We literally write down everything: who picks her up from school, who puts her to bed, who gets to work out at night, etc., etc., etc.  We plan our meals and free time, too.  Yes, we make plans to relax.

Now, our family thinks this hilarious and OCD.  But with our jammed schedules, it's 100% necessary.  And to be completely honest, it's 9:00 at night before I can sit down and have a minute to think.  I know lots of you can relate.  We get home from work and then it's playtime, dinner time, bath, bottle, wash bottles, repack daycare bag, restore house to homeostasis.  Repeat.  Over and over.

I also want to emphasize that I have a supportive husband.  He works his tail off and helps me quite a bit.  This is a big adjustment for him as well.

The biggest issue is finding time for ourselves and for each other.  We are working on it.  I really don't think you can underestimate the importance of a strong marriage, and marriage takes work.  For us, it's about remembering that we are spouses first and parents second.

*That is not to say that stay at home moms work any less hard.  Let's not open up that can of worms.  We're all working our butts off here!

After four months, I can honestly say I love my baby more every single day.  I thank God constantly for giving me the privilege of being her Mom.  I'm sure I'll need to remember those saccharine sweet thoughts when I have a teenager.  God help me. And her.

Lake Minneola Half Marathon Race Recap

I ran my first postpartum half marathon yesterday.  It was a huge disappointment.

I signed up on a whim for the Lake Minneola Half marathon after I got sick and was unable to run the Princess Half Marathon.  The race was put on by Sommer Sports, a race management company that is well known for its triathlons.  This was the inaugural running of the half marathon.  In addition to the half, there were options to run a 12k or a 5k.

The half was scheduled to begin at 7:00 a.m.  I arrived at Clermont's Waterfront Park at 6:00, one hour prior to what should have been the start of the half marathon.  Packet pick up was a breeze; I had plenty of time to use a real bathroom and run back to the car with my tech tee, or rather, my t-shirt.  Strike one.

At 6:55, I  got in line and immediately spotted Carissa, who was running with her friend Megan.  Carissa noticed what I had failed to observe: there was no timing mat at the start.  Hmmm.

At 7:00, we were still standing in line.  7:10 -  still waiting.  At 7:20, a guy with a bullhorn yelled something about the people with the timing mat running late.  A few minutes later, he said, "Now we're gonna do something 'kinda cool' and have a moment of silence for Boston."  Never happened.  No apologies for the late start, either.

We were finally off at 7:30, a full thirty minutes later than planned.

The course, in my honest opinion, was a total head-scratcher.  We ran the 5k route first, so we actually ran back through the start/finish area.  There were no cones to divide the road during the out and back portions of the course, so you had to dodge the runners coming towards you because we ran in a makeshift figure eight at each turn around.  Oh, and when I say other runners, I also mean the people running the 12k, as they started immediately after us.

Do you see that "flat and fast" claim?  Well, not so much.  The first two miles were quite hilly, and there was actually a sign for the "Hill at Lake Minneola" around nine miles in.    That's OK; I dealt with them.  Thank goodness I did a few Apopka hill training runs.

Maybe you're wondering, "Gee, Victoria, how did you know you were at mile nine?  Was it near the mile marker?"

Why no, dear reader, it wasn't - because there were no markers.  There were also several portions of the road where there were no cones to protect us from oncoming traffic.   You know what else was missing?

Volunteers for several of the aid stations.  Instead, runners were left with stacks of cups and water jugs. I ended up skipping a couple of the water stops because I did not want to lose the time it took for me to wrestle a cup out of a bag, pour the water, drink it, and be on my way.

OK, so the organization was messy.  But my race was awesome...until the very end.

I made a mental plan to break the race up into smaller segments: 5k, 10k, 15k, 10 miles, and the last 3.1. In order to guarantee a sub two hour finish,  I wanted to be at around 28 minutes for the 5k,  55 minutes for the 10k, and under 1:25 for the 15k.  If I could get to the 10 mile marker in under 1:30, I was sure I could finally get my sub two.

So here we go:

5k split: 28:16.  OK.  Doin' good, feelin' good.  Let's keep this up.

10k split: right around 55 minutes.

15k: 1:22:45.  Sweet.

10 miles: 1:28:45.  This sub two was going to happen.  Time to pick it up.

I ran mile 11 in 8:43 and mile 12 in 8:27.   I started to get a little emotional.  Not only was I going to hit my sub-two goal, but I was probably going to come in around 1:54 or 1:55.   An 11 or 12 minute PR was mine!  I couldn't help but think how proud my infertile self would have been of me right then and there.  Four months postpartum and running a strong half marathon?  I never thought I could have done it, yet there I was, pounding away at the pavement like a boss.

I thought about how I ran through my pregnancy, then through all that postpartum exhaustion.  How I sacrificed sleep and lunches with coworkers so I could do tempos on a basement treadmill.  How all of my hard work was going to pay off.  I really did it.  I had my precious baby, and then I ran my fastest half marathon ever.

And then the wheels fell off.

I turned a corner and saw the finish line.  It looked really close - too close.  Before I knew it, I was finished.  In 1:52:24, and 12.85 miles.

I was disgusted.   I knew my watch was not that far off; I started asking other finishers and sure enough, none of them had a full 13.1 on their Garmin.  Then someone told me it was the same course as the triathlon the next day, and it had been certified.   And they were right; that course is certified. Too bad it's not the one I ran.

Then, I heard the race ran out of medals for the half marathon finishers because they gave them all to the 5k and 12k runners.   And this was Sommer's excuse, courtesy of their Facebook page:

Yet, this was their response when someone asked about last-minute registrations just a few days prior to the race:

Yeah, that doesn't sit right with me.

Ever done a badly-run race?

A Little Honesty Goes A Long Way

Presenting four things I need to get off my chest

1.     The practice of law has officially made me bitter towards law students. 

I never, ever discuss my job on this blog, and with good reason.  However, I will make the following sweeping generalizations about attorneys who are around my practice experience level:

• We are still in student loan debt;
• We don't make as much money as we thought we would when we were graduating;
• Half our classmates have quit the legal field altogether; 
• The amount of crap we put up with on a daily basis is enough that we should all have our own sewer lines running from our computers and desks; and
• Half us of wish we went to med school instead.  I know - wishful thinking.

So when a newly minted 3L comes up to me and says how excited they are to, "get out there and start practicing," I resist the urge to tell them a) you'll be in doc review for the next two years - the only time you'll see the inside of a courtroom is when you're bringing a partner trial docs and b) you know it's nothing like Legally Blonde, right? and c) therapists - I've got a list.  You'll need one.

I mean, just this past week one of my classmates got a letter from an opposing counsel who ripped her to shreds for...wait for it...calling him by his first name.  I can't make this stuff up.  

For the record, I'm pretty happy in my job and J is in love with his...but I don't doubt for a second that the stress made it that much harder for us to get pregnant.

2.     I'm afraid I'll bonk on Saturday.

Saturday - my first half marathon in two years.  Ugh.  I've done several ten mile runs, but now I'm kicking myself for not having run farther.  Am I screwed? Why am I even bothering with this?  

WHY DIDN'T I RUN FARTHER THAN 10 MILES???

Hey C, Mommy needs a cuddle and a bottle and possibly her own lovie.  Mind if I borrow yours?

Of course, what happens if I do bonk?  Nothing. The running gods will not smote me.  I will probably at least finish, so at least there's that.  This is all self-induced pressure.  

3.     It's been four months and I am just now sending out birth announcements.

I have no manners.  That is like an eternity in the South.  I may as well wait until her first birthday.

I also still have thank you notes I need to write from December.  My list of people to call grows daily.  But by the time my day ends at 9:00 every night, I have no energy.  If I had a dollar for every time I said, "I'll get up early and do it tomorrow," I'd be rich.

I forget to RSVP to things all the time.  I haven't made anything from Pinterest.  I haven't sent out any birthday cards.  I haven't set a blogging schedule.  My DVR is full of TV I haven't watched.

I don't mean to be rude, but I think I am quite often.  I really don't mean it.  I'm just tired.  And I sleep through my alarm far too often.

Which leads my to my last point.

4.     I am hanging on by a thread.  A single, gossamer strand.  

Then again, who isn't? 

Savage Race Recap

Note: I am obviously aware of the great tragedy and senseless violence that occurred in Boston yesterday.  Like any other human being with a pulse, I am saddened and shocked.  Please know my heart and prayers go out to all those affected by what happened.  

Tased.
Submerged completely in icy cold water.
Forced to army crawl under hundreds of yards of barbed wire.
Compelled to walk the plank.
Covered in mud, murk and more bruises and scratches than I can count.

Yep, Savage Race was totally awesome.

I'm still trying to decide what was more difficult: childbirth, or Savage Race.  One of these events bruised me where the sun doesn't shine, and it wasn't the one where I got a baby at the end.

Although I did get a pretty sweet medal.

And mud in places where one should never get muddy:

But, I'm getting ahead of myself.  Let me back up:

On Saturday morning, J and I made the trek from Orlando to middle-of-nowhere Florida, better known as Dade City.  The view was so pretty:

The banjos were in full swing by the time we got to Little Everglades Ranch, site of the race.   We were set to encounter 25 obstacles over 6.75 miles of muddy terrain.  Upon arriving to the ranch, we paid our $10.00 to park (more on that later) and started walking towards the course.  This was looming in the distance:

That's Colossus, a half pipe on the front, and a giant slide on the back.  The grande finale.  Oh boy.

Using what little bladder control I have left, I did my best not to pee on myself as we headed towards packet pickup and bag check. Another $5.00 later, we were minus one bag and two rights to a jury trial. Only then were we given our timing chips, which J and I strapped to our ankles.  Two seconds after we did so, the gun went off, signaling the start of our heat.  We were literally the last two people to cross the start line for the 1:20 wave.

A'ight...good start.

Feeling really confident - not

Much more confident than I am

We started off running and quickly encountered the first obstacle: the "Shriveled Richard."  This involved jumping into a tractor-trailer filled with ice, swimming under a piece of ply-board, and swimming out.  And just in case you tried to get cute and jump over the ply-board, there was barbed wire strapped to the top of it.  The clumps of hair clinging to it told us that was other people had not learned - jumping over was not a good idea.

source - Savage Race Facebook page

The woman in front of us had a panic attack and didn't want to jump in, so we spent a fair amount of time waiting for her to chill out (ha ha - pardon the pun).  She finally cooled down (I'm sorry - can't help it) and went in.  It was now our turn.  Here's J.

He begs to differ

Holy $#!@.  The cold knocked the wind right out of me.  I steeled myself, took a deep breath, and swam under the plank.  The woman in front of us was hyperventilating and, in her panic, could not get out.  I eventually had to climb over her.

Ever tried running on numb legs?  It's strikingly difficult.  Yet, that was our task as we headed towards the next obstacle, running through swinging tires.  After that, we tackled dodging tires on the ground and ran through a few muddy areas.  The fun was just beginning.

source

Following the tires, we hit "Thor's Grundle," which required us to "duck under wooden baffles to get a face full of mud."  I'm fairly certain I swallowed an amoeba or two.

source - Savage Race Facebook page

The next significant obstacle involved a stretch of plastic line sprawled over water.  We had to hook our ankles together on top of the line and then push ourselves across the water.  It looked sort of like this:

Image source

The good part was that the line sagged quite heavily, so I could put the majority of my body weight into the water.  This made the obstacle quite a bit easier.

Next up?

The eight foot wall.  The wall was entirely smooth, so I had nowhere to put my foot. J hoisted me up, then came around the other side and helped me down so that I didn't slam my knees into the ground.  I noticed that most people needed help with this one.

Picture cribbed from my buddy Carolina's recap of last year's race over at Peas in a Blog

A little bit more running ensued, along with some smaller obstacles.  We hit one called "Kiss My Walls." This was an eight foot wall with pegs on the top and bottom.  The idea was to grab a peg and pull yourself across the wall using your hands and feet.  I made it halfway across before the pegs began to space farther apart.  Being short was a major disadvantage here.

Next up?

The "Big A$$ Cargo Net."  Surprisingly, I loved this!  I would suggest starting on the outside, though -- more tension on the rope made it much easier to climb.  And yes, it really was as large as advertised.

source

I was feeling pretty good about myself at this point, but definitely pining for water.  Ugh.  This is the major complaint I had about the race: the water was spaced very far apart and it was HOT. Now, J and I did start in one of the last waves of the day, but still: hot water does nothing to quench your thirst. Moving on. . .

OK, more obstacles (I can't guarantee these are in order - there's no race course online):

"Me So Thorny": a crawl under barbed wire

source: Savage Race Facebook page

"Lumbar Jack Lane" - carrying a piece of lumbar over your shoulder while trenching through waist deep water

"Colon Blow 5000" - crawling up pitch black drain pipes then sliding down another set of drain pipes into mud.  Then another crawl under barbed wire.

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Then, a simple climb up a slanted, slick wall.  I can't believe I made it all the way up.

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Are you tired yet?  I am.

More highlights:

"Davy Jones' Locker" - a jump off a 16 foot platform into water.  I was terrified.  My stomach dropped the whole way down.  I hate heights.

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Five foot walls - about a million of them.  That's why my lady parts are bruised.  Not kidding.

"Evil bars:" monkey bars on acid. Yeah, I fell right off and directly into the drink.  #NoUpperBodyStrength

"Nut Smasher" a walk across a wobbly balance beam suspended over water.  Surprisingly, I made it all the way across without falling.

We also had to climb these hay bales.   J gave me lots of help here.

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The finale was Colossus, followed by crawling under live taser wires, followed by jumping over fire and crawling under barbed wire.  Neither J nor I could get up the half pipe, so we had to climb a ladder to get to the slide.  Y'all, grown men were panicking up there and refusing to go down the slide.  Grown men!  I elected not to think about it, plug my nose, and slide down.  Hitting the water HURT.

But that didn't suck nearly as badly as the taser.  I thought I could crawl low enough to avoid them, but nope:  zapped.  The tasing itself wasn't painful, but slamming my head on the ground was.  J and I happily skipped the second set of them.  You know what they say: fool me once...

OK, time to jump over some fire:

The finish line was now in sight:  just a little crawl under barbed wire, with some mud thrown in for extra fun:

One of us is taking the easy way out here 

Hardcore

Can you tell I was happy to be done?

J and I finished in 1:51:06, good enough to put us in the top 15%.  This surprised both of us because we really took our time with the obstacles and did not run the entire course.  Of course, the winner finished in 32:00 or something ridiculous like that.

Of all the obstacles, I'd rank the ice as the worst from a psychological perspective and the evil bars/Colossus as the most physically difficult.   You really have to be strong to successfully complete them - hence why I failed.

The only mud race I'd done before this one was Muddy Buddy, which is a walk in the park compared to Savage Race.  J previously completed a Warrior Dash.  He thought the running for Warrior Dash was more difficult due to the amount of sand on the course, but felt Savage Race's obstacles were far more difficult.  Overall, the race was really fun and a great bonding experience for J and me.

However, if I had to nitpick a couple of things, I'd have to complain about the separate parking fee and bag check fee and the HOT water on the course.  Mentally, I'd rather have paid a couple of extra bucks that were built into the race fee than have to shell out additional cash on race day.  With respect to the water, I realize we were in one of the last waves, but ugh - hot water is the worst!

Ever done a mud race?  Fun or just a fad?